Curmudgeon Gamer
Curmudgeoning all games equally.
10 March 2006
Tomb Breaker (with apologies to Led Zeppelin)
This is what 7.5 hours in a car gets you. Sorry. Like Heartbreaker by Led Zeppelin.
Tomb Breaker

Hey fellas, have you heard the news?
You know that Lara's back in town?
It won't take long just watch and see
How the fellas lay their money down.
Her look is new but the play's the same
As it was so long ago,
But from her eyes, a diff'rent smile
Like that of one who knows.

Well, it's been ten years and maybe more
Since I first set eyes on you;
The best years of my life gone by,
Here I am alone and blue.
Some people sighed and wished you'd died
From the Angel of Darkness crap;
But I'll just keep on playin' on
Knowin' it was all a bum rap.

People talkin' all around 'bout the way your gameplay's flat,
I don't care what the people say, I know where your jive is at.
One thing I do have on my mind, if you can clarify please do,
Why do you steer like a drunken ox when I try to make you move!
I try to move left but it ain't no use.
Do it for me, do it!

(guitar solo)

Run and jump and then you climb,
Another damn health pack;
Killed you off a thousand times,
However hard I tried.
Tomb breaker, the time has come,
To play your evil game;
Let's go play,
Tomb breaker.
Tomb breaker!
--Matt Matthews at 22:43
Comment [ 3 ]

Comments on this post:

Jesus JVM, why don't you just marry her already? :-)

By Blogger Dan-o, at 10 March, 2006 23:54  

I think his wife would be upset.
Or I should say:
I /hope/ his wife would be upset.
Oh ho ho, I'm so funny.

By Anonymous zachary, at 10 March, 2006 23:55  

Yes, the wife would be upset. She's awfully tolerant, but that would cross a line.

For what it's worth, Tomb Raider (the original) is one of the few games she's watched played for longer than 10 minutes.

By Blogger jvm, at 10 March, 2006 23:57  

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